When I was 5, I was sure that I would never love a boy. I mean they all had cooties, they always pulled your hair when you weren’t looking, and they never wanted to play “house” on the playground. I remember my mom always telling me that no matter how mean the boys were I had to be nice to them, but why did I have to do that? My five year old mind just could not fathom being nice to some mean, smelly, cootie infested boy! Yes I was pretty sure that loving a boy was not in my future!
When I was 16, I was adamant that I would never love a boy. Oh sure when you’re 16 everything is all about boys, in fact a teenage girls life revolves around 3 things; boys, shopping, and boys, but for some reason I just knew that I would never love one of them! I remember my first “real” boyfriend. My whole world revolved around him; I ate, slept, and breathed HIM, it was sad! And then we broke up, and what used to be this warm, happy, fuzzy feeling when I thought about him turned to this dark, hateful, terrible feeling! That was the nail on the coffin so to speak, and that’s when I knew that my suspicions were right…I was adamant that I would never love a boy!
When I was 22, I was fairly certain that I would never love a boy! Sure they were nice to have around, especially when the oil in the car needed changed or there was a huge, hairy spider to kill, but most of the time they were still the same smelly, mean, cootie infested boys that they were when I was 5. It looked as though I was fairly certain that I was never going to love a boy!
When I was 27 it all changed! I remember the exact moment that I did indeed fall in love with a boy…it was August 1, 2007, at 4:58 p.m. I remember seeing him for the first time; his hair all a mess, his eyes red and puffy from crying, and his lips trembling with confusion and fear. I remember holding him in my arms for the first time and looking into those big, beautiful hazel eyes; in that moment time stood still, the earth stopped spinning for a brief moment, and everything that was wrong in the world just melted away. In that moment I had done what I was so sure I would never do…I had fallen in love with a boy…my boy…my son!