Never Love a Boy!!!

I've spent most of my 29 years trying to decide whether or not guys were worth all the time us women put into them. This is something I wrote a few months ago and I think it pretty well sums up how I feel about the whole thing...enjoy!

When I was 5, I was sure that I would never love a boy. I mean they all had cooties, they always pulled your hair when you weren’t looking, and they never wanted to play “house” on the playground. I remember my mom always telling me that no matter how mean the boys were I had to be nice to them, but why did I have to do that? My five year old mind just could not fathom being nice to some mean, smelly, cootie infested boy! Yes I was pretty sure that loving a boy was not in my future!

When I was 16, I was adamant that I would never love a boy. Oh sure when you’re 16 everything is all about boys, in fact a teenage girls life revolves around 3 things; boys, shopping, and boys, but for some reason I just knew that I would never love one of them! I remember my first “real” boyfriend. My whole world revolved around him; I ate, slept, and breathed HIM, it was sad! And then we broke up, and what used to be this warm, happy, fuzzy feeling when I thought about him turned to this dark, hateful, terrible feeling! That was the nail on the coffin so to speak, and that’s when I knew that my suspicions were right…I was adamant that I would never love a boy!

When I was 22, I was fairly certain that I would never love a boy! Sure they were nice to have around, especially when the oil in the car needed changed or there was a huge, hairy spider to kill, but most of the time they were still the same smelly, mean, cootie infested boys that they were when I was 5. It looked as though I was fairly certain that I was never going to love a boy!

When I was 27 it all changed! I remember the exact moment that I did indeed fall in love with a boy…it was August 1, 2007, at 4:58 p.m. I remember seeing him for the first time; his hair all a mess, his eyes red and puffy from crying, and his lips trembling with confusion and fear. I remember holding him in my arms for the first time and looking into those big, beautiful hazel eyes; in that moment time stood still, the earth stopped spinning for a brief moment, and everything that was wrong in the world just melted away. In that moment I had done what I was so sure I would never do…I had fallen in love with a boy…my boy…my son!

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My Lone Ranger

Yesterday I realized something(well actually I realized it a long time ago, but yesterday it really hit home). I have 4 kids (I know you're probably tired of me reiterating that) 3 girls and 1 boy...my son the lone ranger in a sea (or house) full of girls. I wonder what he must think of all the girls? I wonder if he looks at all of the dolls and make-up and dress-up clothes and thinks to himself, "What in the world did I get myself into?"

When I first found out I was having a boy I panicked, I had only had girls and I had no idea how to be a Mommy to a boy. How could I potty train him? Could I really play trucks and climb trees? I honestly had no idea if I could be a good mom to a boy. Fast forward a few months to the first time I held my son in my arms and looked into his big brown eyes, that's when I realized that I could definitely be his Mommy! The first few months were full of firsts; the first time one of my kids peed in my face (this one I could have done without), first circumcision (scared me to death), and the first time I knew without one single doubt that I had fallen hopelessly in love with a boy. When my son was 6 months old I found out I was pregnant again...of course I was shocked (I shouldn't have been considering the non-existent birth control we were using) but I was shocked none-the-less. I was scared that my son would feel abandoned and that he wouldn't understand. It took me a while to come to terms with it and even admit that I was pregnant, but I finally did and realized that it would be alright. When I brought my daughter home from the hospital my son wanted nothing to do with her. We would try to get him to give her kisses and he would push her away. When she would cry he would just stand there and stare at her with this disgusted look on his face. When I would pick her up and talk to her he would become outraged and throw horrible fits. For the longest time (alright it was really only a little over two months, but it felt like an eternity) I wondered if he would ever accept and love her. Yesterday I got my answer.
In case you can't see he has his arm around her. My heart literally melted right out of my chest. And I have to be honest and tell you that she seemed to really enjoy laying beside her Bubby...and I think he liked it too!

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