Expert Tips on When and How to Get Your Kid to CLEAN UP!

With the kids home for the summer, it becomes extremely important for parents to lay down the ground rules early and let their children know what is expected of them while they are on summer break...seriously, do you know how fast a house can go from "so clean you can eat off the floors" to "OMFG I'd rather move than clean up this mess" when the kids are on a break from school?  My children range in age from 15 (yes, it's hard for me to believe too) all the way down to 5 and I don't know about y'all, but it's always been so hard for me to try and figure out what age was a good age for my children to actually start doing chores.  While all of my children do have chores now that they are expected to do every day before they are allowed to do the "fun stuff" ( we won't get into if they actually do them every day without a fight or not...that's another blog post), it wasn't easy figuring out when the right time was for my kids to start helping out around the house.  Since I know that I'm not the only Mommy out there who struggles with making this decision, I thought I'd have Gregg Murset (CEO of My Job Chart) to weigh in and give us a little insight!

About Gregg:

As the Chief Executive Officer of My Job Chart, Murset has committed the last four years to building the largest online community and fastest growing website teaching kids about work ethic and making smart money decisions.

MJC was born from real life experience. Murset is a father of six children (ages 6 to 16) and needed a way to teach them about earning, saving and spending money. With no system available for a family with a large range in ages, Murset came up with the idea to combine modern technology with the traditional allowance system to teach responsibility, accountability and the fundamentals of financial literacy.

Now with over 556,000 members, 19.3 millions chores completed by kids and an economic impact over $3 million, My Job Chart is leading the battle to reverse the culture of entitlement and credit addiction that plagues American families today.

Well then, now that we've established that Gregg is indeed qualified to give us a little better understanding of when and how we can get our little ones to help us out around the house, I'd like to share some of my favorite tips from Gregg with y'all!

Little ones are liked crazed little monsters when it comes to toys, it seems that in just five short minutes they come crashing in and turn a living room into a mass destructed mini town. So when is the time that you get stop cleaning up and your two year old finally chills the heck out? How do you even tell a three year old to pick up? My Job Chart creator has created a list of tips that will help parents of young kids valuable tools about when it is time to teach these beasts a little housekeeping.

When

1. You Can Feel It … Most parents get “the feeling” when their children are capable of learning something new or taking on a task. It’s no different with picking up responsibilities around the house. Don’t ignore your gut and begin recognizing that your kids can be a get help to you.

2. Start Them Young … The basic rule is - if your children are old enough to take toys out to play, then they are old enough to put them away. The same goes with most other things around the house, even clothes, dishes, video games or items used out at the pool.

3, It’s Your Call … Don’t let so-called experts put an age range on particular jobs your kids could be doing. While it might not make sense to someone living in big city why a 10-year old would ever run lawnmower, in America’s heartland, it’s not uncommon for a 10-year old handling equipment on the farm. If you know they can complete harder chores safely, maybe you should let them try. It’s your call.

How

1. Understand Why It’s Important To Have Kids Do Chores & Receive Rewards … Using chores & rewards to teach our kids about responsibility, accountability and money has been around for decades. It’s easy, effective and can change as your child grows. Kids need structure and providing them with a daily routine or responsibilities, only help them later in life.

2. Be Consistent … When it comes to kids doing chores around the house, often there is only one thing stopping the kids - parents. Whether it’s because we get busy and forgot, get tried of nagging or just find it quicker to do it ourselves, parents are often the reason kids stop doing chores. Parents need to be consistent, demanding and set proper expectations when it comes to chores. 

3. Be Fair … Kids understand right and wrong or fair and unfair. Separate the chores evenly or rotate them so the worst chores aren’t always with one child. If you are rewarding your children for jobs well done, don’t be afraid to compensate one child more than another if the chores they handle are more difficult or are less attractive.  

4. Don’t Let Other Things Get In The Way … Dance practice, music lessons, football games, baseball practice and homework are just a few things your child has on their plate each day. As a parent, teach your child from an early age how to manage time and set priorities, by doing all these things plus the daily chores. There are life lessons in everything, don’t drop off things around the house because outside activities make life busy. We certainly can’t do that as adults, can we?

5. Stress Saving & Sharing … If you provide a reward for your kids, make sure to stress saving and sharing. Everyone knows how to spend … it’s like breathing … you just do it. Saving and sharing takes practice, a plan and often some research. In the long run, however, your kids will see the benefits and continue to do these things as adults. It’s like riding a bike - learn it early in life and you can always do it again later. Learn it later in life and it’s more difficult.

I hope these tips will come in handy when you're trying to decide if your little ones are old enough to start helping out around the house.  I know that even thought my children already do help out, reading them made me feel so much better about my decision to have them start helping out when I did. 

Until next time y'all...

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How Miley’s VMA Performance Helped Me Trust My Daughters More

I always try to keep it classy around here, after all, this IS a mommy blog, and while I will try to keep this post as classy as the rest, I can’t promise.

I know that the whole Miley Cyrus debauchery at the VMA’s has been, at this point, played out, and I promise that while this post is more about how Miley’s antics spurred a discussion at my house, it was the inspiration for the post in the first place, so if you’re tired of reading about it, please feel free to move along.

 The VMA’s are usually a big deal at our house as we thoroughly enjoy music and try to have it as present in our every day lives as possible.  Since my oldest daughters love watching the performances and seeing which of their favorite songs/singers will win, but have a strict 9 pm bedtime on school nights (yes, I am that mom who makes her teenager have an early bedtime—you raise your children, I’ll raise mine), I always DVR the show so that they can watch it afterschool the next day.  This year was no different, I set the DVR to record the show, but finished early with my posts so I decided to watch the live show—I’ve never been more glad that I screened something before letting my children watch it in.my.life. 

I’ve never been a big fan of Miley Cyrus, even in her Hannah Montana days I thought  that she was famous for absolutely no reason other than her dad used to be somewhat/kinda/almost famous, and after watching the video for her song “We Can’t Stop” I was even less of a fan (that video is disturbing at best) so I didn’t really even want to watch Miley’s VMA performance, thankfully something told me I should.  I’m usually pretty good with words, but in this case, words seriously escape me.  I’m not sure whether I should feel sorry for Miley’s parents (though I thoroughly suspect that they are, in fact, part of the problem), or if I should feel sorry for Robin Thicke (though I suspect he loved every second of it—you know, considering he called the performance “dope” and all), hell maybe I should feel sorry for Miley, but I don’t feel sorry for any of those people—I feel sorry for the girls who look up to Miley Cyrus.

Image Credit:  eonline.com

Anyway, my oldest daughter came home from school Monday and asked to watch the VMA’s and this is the conversation that followed her question…

Me:  Um, I’m not sure you should, it was kinda lame.
Drama Teen:  Mom, of course you’d think it’s lame, you’re old!
Me:  Let me rephase that rude one…I don’t think it’s really very appropriate for you to watch it.
DT:  If you’re talking about the travesty that was Miley Cyrus, I’ve already seen it.
Me:  (Shocked, though in our digital age I guess I shouldn’t have been)   Um how exactly have you seen it?
DT:  Facebook, YouTube—it’s out there.

And in that moment I knew that there was really very little I could do in that moment, or in life in general. to shelter my children from things I didn’t want them to see—not when Facebook and YouTube and Instagram are such a vital part of the everyday lives of teens in 2013.  So since I couldn’t make her un-watch what she had already seen, I decided to use it as a lesson in how I do and do not expect my children to behave while they are in my house and if they ever want to really gain my respect, in life. 

Me:  Well, what did you think?
DT:  Of Miley Cyrus?  She’s a total skank mom.
Me:  (Ok, this was promising)  Agreed!  You know that I’d kill you if you ever tried to do anything remotely resembling what that girl did in public…right?
DT:  (Rolling her eyes for the drama factor) Yes, Mom.  But do you really, honestly believe that I would ever, ever do something like that?  I mean, that girl clearly has issues and needs some kind of help.

I was extremely impressed that my daughter seemed to take the same position I had on the issue, sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that we, as parents, have done a good job.

Me:  Well, I’m glad you feel that way because I think that girl needs Jesus.
DT:  And a better pair of panties…did you see her chicken butt? 

I think the most important lesson to be learned here is that our children can and sometimes do surprise us, even when it’s the last thing we might expect them to do.  My daughters love that stupid “We Can’t Stop” song so knowing that, I automatically assumed that they would fight for the right to watch her performance in the first place and then try to justify it and I was shocked, really and truly, when they did the opposite.  Maybe us parents should really just chill the F out, I mean, our kids have this, they know what they’re doing, they know what’s right and wrong and for the most part, they seem to have no problems standing up for what they believe is right and that should make us feel awesome!  Even if it takes Miley Cyrus masturbating with what kinda/sorta resembled the Hamburger Helper hand (I’ll never be able to eat that stuff again now) to show us that for the most part, our kids are pretty freakin awesome, which just means that us moms and dads are the shit!

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Texting and Driving: An Infographic to Share with Your Teens

Texting and driving is something that I try not to do, I ‘d be lying if I said that I don’t ever do it, but I do try very hard not to, especially after seeing those commercials or reading or hearing about horror stories where an accident happened because someone was texting and driving.  My husband on the other hand, does it nearly every time he’s in the car and it’s something that I spend a lot of time pleading with him not to do.  With not one, but three of our children who are going to be driving within the next year, it’s more important than ever for both of us to set a good example and be responsible when it comes to texting and driving so that hopefully our children will follow that example and refrain from texting and driving when they get their licenses.  I received a pitch containing an interesting infographic about texting and driving that I thought I’d pass along to all of you, if you have teens who are already drovers or who will be soon, it’s definitely worth having a look. 

 

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What Do You Do When You Realize That Your Babies Are Growing Up?…

In the middle of writing a review, which I am desperately behind in at the moment due to the flu that kicked our houses ass last week, I hear my four year old’s  footsteps as she runs down the hallway to tell me that her “TV is broke”  and in the amount of time it takes her to make it from her bedroom to my computer desk, I realize that her footsteps sound so different, they didn’t sound like the baby footsteps that I have grown so used to hearing for the past few years, no, these are definitely different, yet also very familiar…

…that’s when I realize that my baby is no longer a baby.  And not only is she no longer a baby, but she’s growing up, into one of the Big Kids, and I’m not sure if I should be excited that I no longer have “babies” running around and that my diapering days are pretty much done, or if I should be sad that I don’t have babies running around anymore and that I don’t have to ever buy diapers again (at least not for a long, long while, hey SS and DT, y’all hear that?  no babies, no time soon…), it’s one of those times when being a mommy is hardest. 

I love that Lil Diva is growing up and she’s growing up into such a confident, smart, gorgeous, independent, amazing little girl who drives me crazy, but I couldn’t imagine living life without, but the fact that she’s my baby and she’s not really a baby anymore, that’s a another story.

Maybe it’s because somewhere deep inside I know that she’ll be my last, mostly because 6 kids is expensive enough, but also because my husband and I both agree that no matter how much we love babies (and I adore them), the smartest thing for us to do is concentrate on raising the ones we’ve got.  I mean, it makes all the sense in the world when you see it written in black and white, but it does little to comfort the part of me that needs them to be small so that I can protect  them forever. 

And to be honest, it’s not just Lil Diva who is growing up; Drama Teen, my oldest, will be 14 in a few months and in high school before I know it and my precious little Sporty Spice is already in middle school and growing up a little faster every day and Lil Man is already in kindergarten and he’s reading (I still can’t believe that the boy who barely knew his ABC’s 3 months ago is reading and writing and well, growing up…they all are and I’m sitting here watching it all unfold, wishing that I could slow time down a little, hoping that if I just hold on for a little while longer they’ll decide to stay little and be Mommy’s babies forever, but then I realize that the truest test of our mothering skills is letting our kids go out into the world and seeing what they do in it. 

I constantly question how I’m doing as a mom; “Do I curse too much?”, “Do I yell too much?”, “Am I sending the right messages?”, “Am I teaching them the right things?” and most of the time i don’t know the answers to those questions, none of us do really, but last week I got confirmation that I’m doing something right…

…last week was parent/teacher conferences here and aside from being told that DT and SS talk too much (wonder where they get that from?) I’m always proud of my kids when I leave, but after my meeting with Lil Man’s kindergarten teacher I was in tears…good tears mind you.  Aside from telling me how proud she was of Lil Man’s progress she told me that he was a pretty good, pretty special little kid…apparently there is a special needs child in Lil Man’s classroom that my son has taken under his wing, his teacher said that the little boy adores Lil Man and that Lil Man makes sure that the little boy gets in line when he’s supposed to and helps him whenever he can, sits with him at lunch and plays with him on the playground, she said that Lil Man was very protective over this little boy (which wasn’t a surprise to me since he’s so protective over his sister) and that I should be very proud of what a great kid I have…and I was proud, beaming even, but that wasn’t the conformation, that came later that night when I was tucking Lil Man into bed.  As I told my son how proud I was of him for being such a big helper to his friend he looked at me and said…

“Mom, I need to take care of that little boy.”  so I asked him why and he told me, “because, that’s what I’m supposed to do!”.  That’s when the tears came, right then, right in that moment I knew that I was doing an ok job, that I might not be Mom of the Year, but that I was raising four  amazing kids…and that’s enough for me.

Oh, the footsteps and Lil Diva growing up, that’s still new to me, I think I’ll play that one by ear…

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Scary Side Effects of Cosmetic Lenses and a Small Victory for Mom!

When it comes to Halloween costumes, sometimes my kids want to go overboard and by overboard I mean crazy things like heels I wouldn’t be caught dead in and crazy cosmetic contact lenses.  My oldest daughter has been driving me crazy to order her these creepy looking cosmetic lenses for weeks now and while I keep saying “NO!” she keeps insisting…until I showed her the press release that came into my inbox yesterday.  After reading about the scary side effects of cosmetic lenses, she’s sorta changed the direction of her Halloween costume…hmm, who woulda thought that a press release could have helped me win that battle…still working on finding a press release to help me win the war that is parenting a teen…stay tuned.  In the meantime, you can check out some of the possible side effects of cosmetic lenses, you know, just in case you’re waging the same battle with your teen.

“The American Academy of Ophthalmology warns parents and teenagers about the dangers of wearing non-prescription decorative contact lenses, which can lead to eye damage or vision loss due to improper fitting.

To keep your child’s eyes safe:

· Kids should receive a complete eye exam yearly by an eye care professional and obtain a valid contact lens prescription, even for cosmetic lenses

· Decorative lenses should never be worn without an eye exam and a prescription

· Contact lenses should never be shared with another person

· Be sure to wash hands thoroughly with mild soup before insertion and never wear them for longer than recommended

· Examine lenses before putting them in your eye – they should be moist, clean, clear and free from any nicks or tears

· Remove lenses immediately if you experience eye discomfort, excessive tearing, vision changes and redness and consult your eye care professional immediately “

Check out this list of Contact Lens Dos and Don’ts from ACUVUE or if podcasts are more you thing you can check out BlogTalkRadio’s Healthy Vision podcast for safe wear and care of contact lenses.

Disclosure:  I was not compensated for this post,…I just thought some other Mom or Dad out there might find this information useful.

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Guest Post: Helping Kids Understand Different Types of Families

Discussing different types of families with your kids—not all families come in one shape or size

The first time my son asked me, “Daddy, how come Daniel doesn’t have a mummy?  All the other families do, don’t they?”  I was speechless.  It wasn’t an expected question at all, so I tried to explain that not all families had Mummy's, and when he asked why, I did all I could to stop myself from saying “I don’t know.”

Explaining to your kids that not all families come in one shape or size can be tricky.  Kids are full of questions, and you never know what they’re going to ask next, so it’s best to be prepared, and keep it all simple.  I’ll show you so you don’t end up as speechless and confused as I was.

Families are about love

Keep this at the back of your mind at all times, because you’ll be falling back on this the majority of the time:  families are groups of people who love and take care of each other.  As long as they love and take care of each other, they are a family—it doesn’t matter if it’s a big group of people, or if it’s two people, or if the people aren’t biologically related—members of a family love each other.

There are many different types of families

There are several different types of families; nuclear, single parent, step—, grandparent-led, same-sex parented, foster, and many more.  By knowing these, you can be best prepared for when your kids ask you about them—go back to the explanation that the thing that these all have in common is that everyone loves each other very much, and that’s what makes them a family, even if they are a little different to what you may have.

Let the questions flow

Though it could be uncomfortable for you to talk about your separation or any similarly uncomfortable situation, you’ll have to face the fact that this is going to come up when your kids ask questions, so you should prepare an answer—something like, “Watson and I were unhappy living together—it isn’t your fault—we both love you very much” should go down well.  Remember, when answering questions, that you don’t ever blame your kids. 

Pass on the happiness

Letting your kids be aware of all the different types of families will help them to accept all the different types of families that their fiends at school will have.  If your own situation is different from the nuclear model, just remember that it won’t matter for your kids, as long as they grow up in a loving, nurturing environment—in other words, a family.

Good luck!

Brought to you in partnership with watts McCray J.

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Products That Make Parenthood Easier…The Mommy Hook Edition!

I don’t know about you, but the one thing I’ve tried (and failed) for 12 years to understand is why kids require so much stuff?  I mean when they’re babies you have to take the diaper bag that’s bulging at the sides, the snack bag (that’s contains your youngest child's weight in snacks, the camera bag (because I’m pretty sure that one of the cardinal rules of mother has to be that we are required to take pictures and/or video of everything our children do…forever), your purse (that could double as an overnight bag filled to the brim with everything from Band-Aids and ice packs to lip stick and a travel flat iron.  As as they get older their bags seem to get heavier!   And if you’re a mom, then you know that there’s nothing worse than being out with your children and having too much stuff to fit in/on the stroller!

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been out with my kiddos and had more stuff than the stroller would hold, I’m pretty sure I’d be up there with Bill Gates…just sayin’!





So, I think it’s safe to say that we pretty much all have this problem!  I’ve tried to be creative and stuff everything into the stroller according to size and shape.  I’ve tried hanging all of my stuff over the handles, which only causes a mild concussion, based upon child’s weight/ability to keep themselves from tipping over.  And I’ve tried carrying the bags that won’t fit as I push the stroller, which only left me sore, angry and really wishin I had brought the bigger stroller to hold the other stuff!

I can’t tell you how many times I wished that there was something,…anything that would help me with our “stuff” problem!  And then I received an email…and it kinda changed everything!
When I was approached to do a review and giveaway for The Mommy Hook, I was hesitant because we don’t really use strollers around here like we used to, my youngest is 3 and she hates being confined to anything when we are out, but then I remembered that baseball and softball season is coming up and that The Mommy Hook would probably come in pretty handy for practices and ball games!

If you’ve never heard of The Mommy Hook let me fill you in on what this little baby can do!
Built to last with its heavy duty aluminum body and soft, durable rubber grip, The Mommy Hook is the answer to many parents prayers when it comes to outings with their little ones!  The Mommy Hook was designed to be versatile (The Mommy Hook can hold anything from diaper bags to grocery bags), durable (the rugged materials that make up The Mommy Hook provide much needed security and dependability) and so easy to use!  Did I mention that The Mommy Hook can be removed and reattached to provide parents an on-the-go practical tool that definitely comes in handy while shopping at the mall?

Since I plan to use The Mommy Hook on my daughter’s stroller for baseball season, I have only really tested The Mommy Hook around the house in a variety of different scenarios and my diagnosis?  It totally works and is as easy to use as it is functional—The Mommy Hook is almost like an extra set of arms!  I can’t wait imagine what a weight (literally) The Mommy Hook will off my shoulders this baseball season—I’ll definitely update y’all on how it works!

So, would you say that The Mommy Hook qualifies as a Product That Makes Parenthood Easier?  I would definitely have to give this one two thumbs up!

Buy It!
You can purchase The Mommy Hook at Walmart, Toys ‘R’ Us and a variety of other retail locations!

Win it!!
Now, how would you like to win The Mommy Hook?  Check out all of the details and enter below using the Rafflecopter Widget!

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My Bonus Mom: A Book That Every Step-Parent and Step-Child Should Read!

Being a mom is hard, but being a step-mom—that’s a whole new can of worms!

Long story short, my husband Jamie had two children from a previous marriage, as did I, so we both instantly became step-parents the moment we decided to start a relationship.  I had been a step-mom for six years prior to being with my husband, so I had a little practice, but Jamie, he came into the situation completely blind.

I think it’s completely fair to say that both of us have had challenges adjusting to our roles as step-parents to each other’s children.  And while it was extremely challenging for us to automatically gain new children, it was even harder for our children to adjust to having a new parent telling them what to do. 

Even though I did by absolute best to explain to my girls the new role that Jamie would be playing in their lives, they were still left with a million questions and I was at a loss for all of the answers.  Unfortunately, my children had seen one too many movies about the Big Bad step-parent and naturally were a little leery of Jamie and his intentions.   Had their been a book that I could have read to them, that explained in terms that they could understand, how having a new step-parent isn’t at all what it’s portrayed to be in the media I think it would have made for an easier, less stressful transition all around…sadly there was no book so my children kind of went into the situation with many reservations and even more questions.

When I was approached a couple of weeks ago to do a book review I almost turned it down as I don’t normally have a lot of time (given my busy school and blog schedule) to think much less read, but when I found out  that it was a children’s book about step-parenting and more specifically step-moms I couldn’t resist!

"My Bonus Mom" is the story of one family’s transition from divorce to adjusting to life with what the author Tami Butcher calls her “Bonus Mom.”  The book is based on Butcher’s own experience growing up as the child of a divorce and the remarriage of her father to her bonus mom.  Beautifully illustrated and fun, “My Bonus Mom” explains in terms that a child can easily understand, the transition from divorce to remarriage. 

About My Bonus Mom author Tami Butcher:

As a child, Butcher grew up with what she lovingly refers to as her "bonus mom," a nurturing, caring woman many in society would refer to as a "stepmother." Butcher's parents amicably divorced when she was 11, and for the sake of Butcher and her three sisters, decided to keep each other fully involved in their children's lives despite the divorce. Eventually both her parents remarried, but they continued to share birthdays, holidays and special times together with their children, as well as with their new spouses. Because of her parents' efforts, Butcher and her sisters grew up feeling blessed for having two moms and dads instead of "stepparents."

Reflecting on her own family dynamics, Butcher realized that if she could plant a seed in children's minds that having a stepmother or stepfather can be a "bonus," then their minds and hearts might grow to accept their parents' new spouses instead of automatically thinking of them as evil as many childhood fairytales portray them. The product of that revelation was My Bonus Mom! Taking the Step out of Stepmom.

 

When I received “My Bonus Mom” to review I immediately read the book and was impressed with the beautiful illustrations and rhymes that make the book fun for children while still driving the message home.  After reading the book myself, my nine year old daughter asked me if she could read the book to the babies (one of these days I’m going to have to stop calling them that) so she sat down with them on the couch and read the book as they sat and listened.  Once Savanna had stopped reading, Lil’ Man asked her, “Manna (that’s what both of the babies call her), do you have a Bonus Mom?”  I thought the question was a great start to an important conversation so I took the opportunity and sat down and explained the concept of step-parents to all three of my children.  My nine year old does have a bonus mom of sorts in her father’s live in girlfriend of the past three years so she understood quickly and even smiled at the thought  of being able to call her dad’s girlfriend her bonus mom! 

I have to admit, being a step-parent isn’t easy and while there isn’t a book around that can fully prepare parents for becoming step-parents or children for gaining a bonus mom (or dad), this book definitely goes a long way in helping children understand that gaining a new step-parent can be fun and rewarding and not nearly as scary as they may think!   I love the concept of changing the step in step-parent to bonus…it makes the though of having a step-parent sound so much more fun and let’s face it, us bonus-parents can definitely use all of the help we can get!   I would definitely recommend “My Bonus Mom” to any parent struggling to explain to their child(ren) what getting a step-parent is all about!

My can find out a little more about the book My Bonus Mom and the author Tami Butcher online at the My Bonus Mom book website.  My Bonus Mom is available to purchase online at Amazon.com for $16.95.

Disclosure:  I received the product above from the company or PR to facilitate my review…all opinions are 100% my own!

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Raising a Teenage Daughter WILL Be the Death of Me!

I had every intention tonight to sit down at my computer desk and write a giveaway, but the more I sat and starred at a blank screen to more I realized that there was something that I just had to get off my chest!

I really wanted to save all of my really personal posts for my new blog, I didn’t wanna bore all y’all to death with too much sap,, but this was just something that couldn’t wait…

My oldest daughter, Taylor, will be thirteen in 8 days…Oh My God, did I really just type that?  And not only that, but in a little more than two weeks we’ll officially be the full-time parents of fourteen year old step-son.  Seriously y’all, that is almost too much teenager to throw at someone in that short amount of time or like, ever!

 

I’ve spent many years preparing for my children’s teenage years, mostly because the flashbacks of all of the completely ignorant, totally dangerous, insanely fucked up shit that I did as a teenager have been coming in droves lately, but also because I want them to actually make it through life in this town without becoming another statistic (have I told y’all about the 3 8th grade (that has to be like 13,14 year olds) that are pregnant in my daughter’s middle school) oh, I guess I must have forgotten to write that post)! 

But as I sit here and look back at what life has like with my twelve year old for the past several months, I’m even more terrified of raising a teenager!

To make a completely LONG drawn out story a tad bit more bearable, I’ll spare you the play-by-play and instead stick to the facts!

Fact #1:  I’ve asked God WHY???  on more than one occasion in the past three months!

Face #2:  My 12 year old daughter has decided that listening to her mother, like ever, isn’t something she’s comfortable doing…instead Taylor would like to do the complete opposite of whatever her mother tells her until it causes her mother to question God on a daily basis (see Fact #1 for more clarity on the whole God thing).

Face #3:  Said twelve year old has also decided that saying “Whatever” and “Be Quiet” to her mother whenever she feels like it and then having the nerve to roll her eyes is definitely something that she’s interested in doing like, on a daily basis.

Fact #4:  I’ve put up with backtalk, disrespect, lying, eye rolls, mouth running, dirty room that she wouldn’t clean to save her life, you guessed it, like ever and 3 months worth of dirty laundry in Taylor’s room for long enough!

Fact #5:  If shit doesn’t change soon, and by soon I mean today, my 12 year old daughter will be celebrating her birthday with her grandparents having the complete opposite of fun! 

Today was not a great day, it began with me feeling terrible and on the verge of laryngitis, I probably should have gone back to bed and slept the day away! 

I mentioned in Fact #4 that Taylor had, prior to this evening, three months worth of dirty clothing on her bedroom floor and that fact was sadly very true! 

I’ve fought with Taylor on an almost daily basis about cleaning her room and doing her laundry for at least the past three years.  I’ve preached and screamed, grounded and taken away, so many times I’ve lost count.  Wanna know where all that got me?  Absolutely no where, because today I spent two hours watching my daughter separate and bag all 10 loads of dirty laundry on her bedroom floor. 

Now before I have people wondering why I’m treating my daughter like Cinderella let me explain.  For the past three months I’ve asked and begged Taylor to wash the mountain of dirty laundry in her room, in addition to that, I’ve asked Taylor for at least the last 5 years to put her dirty clothes in with mine so that I can wash them…but she refuses! 

So I vowed to let Taylor’s dirty laundry go until she did it herself and I’ve waited and waited and waited, until today and I had had enough.  So I did what any normal mother would do, I made Taylor separate, bag (this process alone took 2 and a half hours (TT—you know, Taylor’s Time) and then carry all 10 loads of laundry out to the car to take her to the laundry mat.  I wanted to make sure that Taylor had no excuses for not getting all of the laundry done in one day.  After a quick stop at  the ATM I headed off to the nearest laundry mat. 

Three hours and $40 later (YES, I paid $40 so my daughter could wash and dry her clothes…even though I have a perfectly functional washer and dryer that she could have been using for the past three months) almost all of Taylor’s dirty laundry has been washed, dried and put away. 

I’m $40 poorer than I was when this day started, $60 if you count the not-so-gourmet dinner for everyone from McHappyMeal, and I kind of feel like I’m just out of ideas when it comes to parenting a teenage daughter!  I’ve done everything under the sun to get her to do the small things I ask of her and not talk back to me, but time and again she refuses and leaves me wondering why I gave her another chance to begin with!  I know that as parents our job is to be patient and be able to handle every single problem that comes along, but the truth is, we all need a help every once in a while! 

So here I am asking all of y’all for some advice—how do you parent a rebellious teenage daughter…legally, without going to jail!  HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Parenting: It Should Come With Instructions!

I remember becoming a mom for the first time, almost like it was yesterday.  I was nervous, excited and a little terrified all at  the same time; I had this teeny, tiny baby that I had absolutely no idea what to do with.  I remember being so unsure about nearly everything; how often to feed her, how much formula she should get and even how warm her bath water should be, thank goodness I had my mother there to help me, because unfortunately they don’t give you a new parents guide with your little bundle of joy.

As my daughter got older, I became more sure of how  to handle the responsibilities of being a mom, I was a little more sure about the little things, but I was still a little new to the whole parenting thing and foolishly I thought that all you needed to raise a baby was a little knowledge and a whole lot of love.  Turns out, you have to also worry about their futures—and that was something that I was not prepared for.


I remember my mom asking me how I planned to save for Taylor’s college and if I had gotten a life insurance quote—and I remember thinking, “life insurance?  for what?”  Needless to say I had no idea what raising a child was all about; thankfully I had tremendous support from my family and my mom was always there to lend a hand or give advice when it was needed.

Almost thirteen years later I would say I’ve done an alright job raising my oldest daughter; she’s smart, kind, caring and just an all around amazing kid.  I still haven’t gotten that life insurance quote and her college fund isn’t where I’d like it to be, but it’s a work in progress—just like this thing called parenting! 

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Potty Mouth…HELP!

Most of the time I’m a very level-headed, calm, and collected parent. Lately, however, I have been at a complete and utter loss. My two year old son is in my eyes an angel; he’s sweet, charming, and very polite, BUT he has a horrible potty mouth.

I will be the first to admit that the first time Gaige heard and repeated the F word I thought it was the end of the world, but I did secretly laugh about it (oh don’t you dare judge me…it was funny). The F Bomb was a phase that passed very quickly (thank goodness) but now Bub has a new bad word of choice and it has me pulling my hair out! So what is Bub’s new cuss word? God D#$m! Of all the cuss words he had to choose that one?!? Now I have to take some of the blame for it because I am the only one in my house who ever uses it (again stop judging, it’s very rare that I say it and besides my bad word of choice is the fuck).

I have tried everything under the sun to get him to stop saying it; time out (BIG, HUGE joke), a smack on the bottom, hot sauce in his mouth (he laughs and says he wants more)…I am completely out of options and I need help!

Has anyone else had this problem? How did you manage to flush the potty mouth?

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My Mommy Lessons

In the almost 10 years that I've been a mom I have learned so much. Sometimes I look back over that time and I am amazed that I made it through with just some bumps and bruises. I've decided to share with you some of the most important lessons I've learned from being a mom.

• I've learned that there is no other word sweeter than Mommy. Sure sometimes the mere thought of hearing it uttered even once more makes our ears bleed, but think about how excited and proud you were when you heard your child say it for the first time. The instant warmth that filled your heart and soul when your baby looked up at you smiling and said Mommy...there is nothing more precious than that!




• I've learned to be selfless. Knowing that I can put aside my wants and needs to fulfill those of my children has made me a far better person than I used to be. Before I became a mom it was all about me, and honestly my life was sad, empty, and going no where fast...learning that the world doesn't revolve around you is a very humbling thing.




• I've learned that I will never be perfect. This perhaps is one of the most important lessons to be learned. When I was a new mom I was so consumed with doing everything perfect, but I soon realized that there is no such thing...and as soon as I learned that lesson being a mom became so much more fun and not nearly as stressful!




• I've learned that it's OK to need a break from your kids. My wonderful (insert sarcasm here) ex made me feel like a terrible mother for even daring to think that I needed a break, but I realized soon enough that if I didn't allow time for me every now and then I couldn't possibly be a good mom. By giving myself a break I realized that I came back to mommying with a renewed sense of purpose and that definitely makes for a better mommy!




• I've learned that poop and puke are just a part of every day life when you have kids. The longer you spend complaining and bitching about having to clean them up the less time you have to spend with that amazing kid who just vomited all over your new couch!




• And perhaps the most important thing I have learned is that life is short...too short. One day you'll look back (as I am doing right now) and wonder where the time went. One night you'll stand in the window and watch as your first born goes on her first date and you'll swear it was just yesterday that she hated boys. One day you'll be standing in the waiting room at the hospital waiting for your only sons first son to be born and remember when you were the one in the delivery room giving birth to him. Time is precious...so cherish every single moment (the good and the bad).

So in my never ending quest for knowledge I'm curious...what is the most important lesson you've learned being a parent?

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You're my favorite!

I read an article recently in a parenting magazine that really got me thinking. The article was about how almost all parents with more than one child has a favroite child. Now when I first started reading the article I thought two things; 1. How could someone actually admit that...and...2. Do I secretly have a favorite child? The article went on to say that you shouldn't feel bad for having a "favorite" and that as time goes on your "favorite" actually passes around to include all of your children.

Now I will be the first to admit that I thought the idea of actually having a favorite child was crazy, I mean we are talking about children not shoes, but the more I thought about it I realized that maybe we all do secretly like one or our children more than the other(s) at one time or another. I mean I know that the love I have for my son (since he's my only son) is completely different than the love I have for my three daughters, but why? Does that mean that I love him more? Of course not! Does that mean that he's my favorite? Well of that I'm not sure. I think I need some help with this one.

So let me know...do you have a favorite child? Or do you think the whole idea is just crazy?

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