Raising a Teenage Daughter WILL Be the Death of Me!

I had every intention tonight to sit down at my computer desk and write a giveaway, but the more I sat and starred at a blank screen to more I realized that there was something that I just had to get off my chest!

I really wanted to save all of my really personal posts for my new blog, I didn’t wanna bore all y’all to death with too much sap,, but this was just something that couldn’t wait…

My oldest daughter, Taylor, will be thirteen in 8 days…Oh My God, did I really just type that?  And not only that, but in a little more than two weeks we’ll officially be the full-time parents of fourteen year old step-son.  Seriously y’all, that is almost too much teenager to throw at someone in that short amount of time or like, ever!

 

I’ve spent many years preparing for my children’s teenage years, mostly because the flashbacks of all of the completely ignorant, totally dangerous, insanely fucked up shit that I did as a teenager have been coming in droves lately, but also because I want them to actually make it through life in this town without becoming another statistic (have I told y’all about the 3 8th grade (that has to be like 13,14 year olds) that are pregnant in my daughter’s middle school) oh, I guess I must have forgotten to write that post)! 

But as I sit here and look back at what life has like with my twelve year old for the past several months, I’m even more terrified of raising a teenager!

To make a completely LONG drawn out story a tad bit more bearable, I’ll spare you the play-by-play and instead stick to the facts!

Fact #1:  I’ve asked God WHY???  on more than one occasion in the past three months!

Face #2:  My 12 year old daughter has decided that listening to her mother, like ever, isn’t something she’s comfortable doing…instead Taylor would like to do the complete opposite of whatever her mother tells her until it causes her mother to question God on a daily basis (see Fact #1 for more clarity on the whole God thing).

Face #3:  Said twelve year old has also decided that saying “Whatever” and “Be Quiet” to her mother whenever she feels like it and then having the nerve to roll her eyes is definitely something that she’s interested in doing like, on a daily basis.

Fact #4:  I’ve put up with backtalk, disrespect, lying, eye rolls, mouth running, dirty room that she wouldn’t clean to save her life, you guessed it, like ever and 3 months worth of dirty laundry in Taylor’s room for long enough!

Fact #5:  If shit doesn’t change soon, and by soon I mean today, my 12 year old daughter will be celebrating her birthday with her grandparents having the complete opposite of fun! 

Today was not a great day, it began with me feeling terrible and on the verge of laryngitis, I probably should have gone back to bed and slept the day away! 

I mentioned in Fact #4 that Taylor had, prior to this evening, three months worth of dirty clothing on her bedroom floor and that fact was sadly very true! 

I’ve fought with Taylor on an almost daily basis about cleaning her room and doing her laundry for at least the past three years.  I’ve preached and screamed, grounded and taken away, so many times I’ve lost count.  Wanna know where all that got me?  Absolutely no where, because today I spent two hours watching my daughter separate and bag all 10 loads of dirty laundry on her bedroom floor. 

Now before I have people wondering why I’m treating my daughter like Cinderella let me explain.  For the past three months I’ve asked and begged Taylor to wash the mountain of dirty laundry in her room, in addition to that, I’ve asked Taylor for at least the last 5 years to put her dirty clothes in with mine so that I can wash them…but she refuses! 

So I vowed to let Taylor’s dirty laundry go until she did it herself and I’ve waited and waited and waited, until today and I had had enough.  So I did what any normal mother would do, I made Taylor separate, bag (this process alone took 2 and a half hours (TT—you know, Taylor’s Time) and then carry all 10 loads of laundry out to the car to take her to the laundry mat.  I wanted to make sure that Taylor had no excuses for not getting all of the laundry done in one day.  After a quick stop at  the ATM I headed off to the nearest laundry mat. 

Three hours and $40 later (YES, I paid $40 so my daughter could wash and dry her clothes…even though I have a perfectly functional washer and dryer that she could have been using for the past three months) almost all of Taylor’s dirty laundry has been washed, dried and put away. 

I’m $40 poorer than I was when this day started, $60 if you count the not-so-gourmet dinner for everyone from McHappyMeal, and I kind of feel like I’m just out of ideas when it comes to parenting a teenage daughter!  I’ve done everything under the sun to get her to do the small things I ask of her and not talk back to me, but time and again she refuses and leaves me wondering why I gave her another chance to begin with!  I know that as parents our job is to be patient and be able to handle every single problem that comes along, but the truth is, we all need a help every once in a while! 

So here I am asking all of y’all for some advice—how do you parent a rebellious teenage daughter…legally, without going to jail!  HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!