Some days I look back and wonder how I managed to make it through the early days of motherhood unmediated, oh not that I’m medicated now--a mother can wish can’t she? No you see my doctor tends to mistake being on the verge of a nervous breakdown with depression so I’m stuck either taking Zoloft or going insane…I choose going insane, it makes for a better blog post!
Getting back to my original thought (my ADD is showing again) I do often wonder how I managed to be a mom at 19. Next month I’ll be, well let’s just say I’ll be celebrating my 30th birthday again this year and every year after that until my wrinkles and sagging skin clearly require me to pretend to be 40, and I am no better at being a mother now than I was at 19. Admitting that is kind of like admitting that you stop and stare at car accidents, you know you should never tell anyone, but it’s still the sad, ugly truth. You see it’s not that I’m a bad mom I just don’t seem to be progressing like I should, or at least that’s what I envision my therapist telling me…if I had one. Take today for instance, I decided over Christmas break that I was going to start potty training my two year old after the holidays…yes well Little Man had other plans. Here’s an excerpt from our conversation this morning:
Me: Alright Bub you know what today is?
Little Man: (Excited) What mom mom?
Me: (Equally excited) It’s time to be a big boy!
Little Man: (Still excited) Yeah!
Me: Let’s go get your big boy undies!
Little Man: (Confused and clearly not excited anymore) I not!
At this point Little Man has folded his arms on his chest in an act of clear defiance and turned away from me…this is not going to be easy.
Me: But don’t you wanna be a big boy like Bub Bub?
Little Man: I not wear unawears!
Me: Well tough cookies little boy I’m tired of buying diapers and changing your stinky butt.
10 minutes later!
Little Man: Mom Mom I farted in my butt…change me (this is the most annoying thing he says and he says it at least 50 times a day).
Me: Alright time for big boy underware.
Little Man: (Running) Oh it ok I not fart in my butt.
And that ladies and gentlemen is what my day looks like…I wonder if my doctor makes house calls?