Monday, December 22, 2008

I am posting this because I am truly at a loss and have no clue what to do. I hope that posting this will help me find the answers that I truly need.

My oldest daughter's father is a deadbeat dad is every sense of the word. He doesn't have contact with his daughter and it's been over a year since I have received any child support from him(he is only ordered to pay $53 a week and now owes us $15,000.00). He consistently misses court dates and every time he doesn't show a warrant for his arrest is issued. Almost two years ago Felony Non-Support charges were filed against him and a felony warrant for his arrest was issued. It took the authorities over a year to find him (they had his address as well as his mother's address) and when I would call and inquire as to why the warrant had not yet been served a year later they would tell me that child support was low on the totem pole and unless someone with a warrant had killed someone then the police were in no hurry to serve them. In May of this year he was finally arrested (he was arrested because he happened to get pulled over for a traffic violation and when the police officer ran his information they discovered that he had a warrant) he spent the night in jail went before the judge the next morning and was let go on an OR (own recognizance) bond...which basically means he told the judge he would show up for court, um excuse me Mr.Judge are you insane..this is the man who has not shown up for court in 9 years and you're letting him go with just his word and without so much as a child support payment. Now keep in mind that he owes over $15,000 in child support and he had had an active Felony warrant for over a year. When I found out that he was arrested I was elated (foolishly I thought that he would finally be made to pay for not supporting his child) but when I called child support and asked what had happened when he went in front of the judge I was told that he was released. When I asked why he hadn't been ordered to make a payment (some counties make you pay a percentage of what you owe in order to be released from jail) she said that our county didn't do that. She did tell me that the judge had ordered him to pay $150.00 a week until his pre-trail hearing, and was warned that if he did not do so a warrant would be issued for his arrest. Needless to say he did not comply and a warrant was issued two weeks later. He was arrested, spent the night in jail and went before the judge the next morning. The judge sentenced him to 60 days in jail. Finally he was were he belonged. A week later my daughter's grandmother had called and asked if my daughter could come up to her house for a family BBQ...when my daughter came back from the BBQ she had told me that her father was there...WHAT?...he was suppose to be in jail for 2 months. So Monday morning bright and early I called the Victim advocate for my county and asked what had happened...after about 15 minutes of being on hold she got back on the phone and told me that he had been released to Home Confinement for the remainder of his sentence due to kidney stones...I almost lost it...kidney stones are you fucking kidding me. Well I was as mad as I had ever been, but knew that there was nothing I could do, at least he was confined to his mother's house for 2 months. A week later my daughter went to visit her grandmother again...and guess what... he wasn't there. I called back to the victim advocate and asked what had happened...she didn't she told me she would find out and call me back...when she did she explained to me that the judge only ordered him to 30 days house arrest...I was livid and asked what I could do to get something done since the judge was obviously not doing his job, she informed me that the judge's word was the final word and there was nothing I could do. At this point I was just so upset, but didn't have any idea what to do. The following months were full of more hearings and more continuances. Fast forward to last was his hearing where he would enter his plea (which is another thing that pisses me is he even given the option of pleading not guilty) anyway I didn't attend the hearing because we had an ice storm the night before and the court house is over an hour away. The next day I call to find out what had happened and the lady I needed to talk to was not there. So today I finally reached the victim advocate and asked what had happened at the hearing...she told me that he entered a plea of guilty...AND...she went on to tell me that he will have to spend 60 days in jail when he is sentenced...why didn't they sentence him at the hearing...she informed me that his court appointed attorney had requested that he not be sentenced until after the holidays so that he could spend Christmas with his family. Are you kidding me. I am so pissed right now that I had no clue what to do. Obviously the judge is not doing his job, my daughter is not receiving her child support money, and this loser is sitting at home all warm and cozy when he should be in a jail cell. If anyone knows what I can do to get some justice please let me know!


  1. OMG that it totally crazy. When I read things like that it makes me fume! My brother has had his wages garnished since his dd was a baby....he never misses a payment..because he can't. They still base his rent on his full check even though half..yes HALF goes to support. And how often does he get to see his now 15 yr old daughter..every other weekend for 7 hours..thats it that all. I can go on and on and on...Fight with all you have...Ughhh some systems really really SUCK

  2. I would go to his next hearing with his daughter and ask to speak and let the judge see the faces behind the problem,

  3. OMGosh! This is just awful! I have never heard of anything so ridiculous! Here in NJ, they actually have "round-ups" and collect all the deadbeat dads at once and arrest them.
    Do you have an attorney? If not, maybe you should contact someone who might work for free. AWFUL!

  4. Thank you all for your advice. This is something that I have been going through for 9 years now and it's just really starting to wear on me. It's not about the money anymore (don't get me wrong that money would be nice) but I've managed for almost 10 years by myself and without his help, I don't need it now. I just want him to have to pay for not supporting his's the least the court system could do to him.

    I guess I'm just going to have to hire a lawyer and make sure that it happens. I foolishly have placed too much faith in both the child support system and the legal system...I'll not make that mistake anymore!

  5. Hi - I happened upon your blog and thought I would put in my two cents about this. My son's (technically step-son)biological mom was a dead beat mom for several years. She lives in New Mexico and we live in Ohio. My hubby was able to get her tax returns garnished. Took a while to get it but we eventually did. Another thing to do is call the child support office ASAP to get any stimulas refunds flagged as well. Looks like there will be another coming our way the beginning of the year. We live in Montgomery County Ohio and they have been pretty good tracking her down across state lines at that. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I really don't understand how parents can neglect their children. Right now hubby is owed 3months support and will be calling the support services in the next week. Son did not even get a Christmas card from her. I just don't get it! Wishing you the best of luck!


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