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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I have sat here for about an hour staring at this blank screen trying to decide if I should post what I am about  to post and then I looked over at my daughter, my daughter who deserves only the best in life, my daughter who doesn’t deserve the piece of shit father she has, my daughter whose voice is still too small to be heard, and then I knew in that moment that if no one else was going to advocate on her behalf then I was no matter who didn’t like it!
In truth this post has been a long time coming, but the words seemed to  be caught somewhere between what I knew I should say and what was too much…tonight nothing is off limits, I’m telling it like it is…no holds barred. 
Long story short, my oldest daughter’s father is a dead beat dad in every sense of the word.  He sees her a handful of times throughout the year (even though he lives about 30 minutes away), he never calls to check on her, he doesn’t buy her school clothes or shoes or supplies or anything else, and he doesn’t pay child support.  As a matter of fact, at the moment he owes his daughter over $17,000.00 in support that he never pays (his last payment was 3 years ago).  He has failed to appear at his court dates more times than I can count, bench warrants for his arrest have been issued more times than I can count, he’s been in jail (for non-payment) more times than I can count, he has been indicted by the grand jury for felony non-support, he has been arrested for the felony warrant and then released (with a warning to pay his child support or go back to jail )so that he could spend time with his family without paying a single penny of what he owed, he has dodged court appearance after court appearance, he has done everything humanly possible to avoid a.) paying his child support and b.) being put in jail as a result of not paying his child support.
At the moment he has an active felony warrant (which was issued 5/15/2009).  He lives in a different county than I do so not only is it impossible to get the police in my county to give a damn it’s even more impossible to get the police officers in his county to care.  I have been doing the job of law enforcement, I have been calling child support on a weekly basis for updates, I have been contacting this county’s sheriff's office and that county’s sheriff's office to tell them where he lives and what he drives, I have called the sheriff's office here and in his county to tell then when and where he will be at a given time and what happens…NOTHING!  And I am tired of it.  I feel like I am fighting a losing battle, a battle that is not designed for me to win! 
The last straw (and the reason for this post) came yesterday when not 1 or 2, but 5 different law enforcement agencies could have picked him up, but didn’t.  I spent 4 hours on the phone and spoke with countless deputies, dispatchers, and policemen and it was for nothing…absolutely nothing.  As I type this he is probably sitting at his mom and dads house (oh did I mention the part where he is 32 lives at home with mommy and daddy, has never had a real job in his life, AND he’s a drug addict and alcoholic…hmm must have forgot to mention that) drinking or getting high and he’s probably laughing at the police for their very unsuccessful capture.  To be honest I’m kinda laughing at them too because I’m embarrassed for them!
It makes me sick to my stomach to know that I am not the only mother out there fighting this fight and that my daughter is not the only child dealing with a sorry excuse for a father.  But after that last phone call I decided to do something, I decided to make sure that I did EVERYTHING possible to make his life HELL, everything possible to make it hard for him to sit on his front porch or go to the grocery store.  That’s when I decided to plaster his picture all across my blog and Facebook and Twitter in the hope that he sees it or someone who knows him sees it and he gets arrested! 

So here' ya go Billy…your 15 minutes of fame…may you get arrested and rot in jail!  You know that thing they say about a woman scorned…well it’s true, but if you mess with that woman’s child you’re just FUCKED!

18 comments :

  1. I think you need to do anything possible for your daughter. xoxo

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  2. Quit fooling with the local police and contact the state police in your area. They are the ones responsible for processing and serving felony warrants..

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  3. OMG, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this! How horrible. And while I totally believe in karma, it's a bitch waiting for karma to get her act together - kwim?

    It's stuff like this that makes me so grateful that I have the kind of ex-husband that I do ... I cannot imagine having to endure this kind of crap. I'm so sorry.

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  4. Good for you. Sounds like our daughters are in very similar situations with their loser dads. My daughter's dad lives within about 150 yards from us. We can see each other's yards; however, he's had no contact with her in 8 years. She wouldn't know him if he walked up and said hello. And not because I've denied him - because he hasn't made the effort. He also doesn't pay child support, but I've never taken him to court to get it. I know we'd be in the same situation, except it would have never even got pushed by our local courts, and I don't have the time to fight for what would be for no good. Best of luck in dealing with your battles.

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  5. Thank you all for your support! I have been fighting this battle for almost 11 years and I just feel like all of it is for nothing sometimes. Your support means so much!

    @Kimberly- that is so sad and I feel for your daughter because I know how much my daughter hurts because her father is not there! The only thing I even know to do is stay strong and be the best mom and dad I can for my baby!

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  6. In the end he's going to be the one with regrets and pain. Its sad he can't realize the amazing precious gift he's been given. I hope one day he does and can make amends.

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  7. He'll get his alright. Your daughter is much better off with him gone. *hugs* honey

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  8. Wow, what a complete jerk. He is losing out on far more than you are.

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  9. I am so sorry to hear this. I could never understand how someone can not care about their child. And to go through this for 11 years? Just keep on doing you.

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  10. I'd contact the State Police, and if they did nothing about it, I'd save up the money for a Bounty Hunter to go and arrest the bum and take him into jail.

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  11. Ugh. That is heartbreaking and infuriating! I'm sorry that you're dealing with this, and worse, that your daughter is dealing with this.
    -Mary

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  12. I hate dead beat fathers. My son's sperm donor pays his child support probably only because he has no choice as he has a government job and could lose his job which is the only thing he cares about in life. What is even worse is that the police departments and laws are even failing you. That is complete bullshit.

    On a side note. You background (polka dots) makes it really hard for me to read your blog. I had to copy and paste into notepad to read it.

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  13. I love this post! Good for you for writing it and doing what you are doing for your daughter. Praying that justice will be served, what a bum! HUGS.

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  14. Lots of crappy fathers out there who just don't care. I am not sure why they can live their lives and not care?! They do regret it when they are very old and alone and it's too late. Sorry for your daughter :(. I wish there was more I could say or do to help.

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  15. Wow that is really sad. My uncle behaved in a similar manner with his children, and now that 20 years have passed and he is sober, he regrets his foolish actions. But it is too little, too late. His children refuse to forgive him, and have cut off all contact.
    I hope he learns his lesson and straightens out for the sake of your daughter.

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  16. I hope they catch the loser.
    Guys like that make my blood boil!!
    Great post Alison
    xo

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  17. Visit www.deadbeatdad.us This site has tons of helpful info regarding child support and related topics!!

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