So, I know that I don’t rant much here, but I just couldn’t hold this one in any longer.
Now as a sports fan myself I understand the need that men have to watch football (every.single.Sunday, Monday, and sometimes Thursday nights during football season), and to attend football games, and to paint themselves their team colors and stand half naked in 30 degree weather for two and a half hours (well actually that last one I don’t really understand) BUT there is one aspect of football season that I will never understand—Fantasy Football!
I get the need that men feel to do everything better than other men,but I do not get the stupid ways that men choose to show that superiority. Take for instance Fantasy Football—my husband who under normal circumstances stays as far away from the computer as possible, becomes a maniac when football season comes, and then he is glued to the computer checking stats, making trades, and keeping track of his points like a mad man. And all for the chance to say…”I beat so and so in my league…I kick ass.”
The following is a conversation that took place between my husband Jamie and I yesterday…enjoy!
Me: (answering the phone) Hello?
Jamie: Hey babe..what ya doing?
Me: I’m about to kill a few of our kids—no worries not the ones we like (totally a joke people..calm down). What’s up?
Jamie: You’re funny! Anyway I just wanted to tell you that I’ll be getting home late on the 26th.
Me: (confused) Um…OK? Do you have to work late?
Jamie: No.
Me: Do you have a date with your mistress? Because if you do then I need to call the UPS guy and let him know I’m free that night.
Jamie: Real funny babe. No I have to stay late because I got in a league at work.
Me: When did you take up bowling?
Jamie: (annoyed…and I loved it) No babe a Fantasy Football league.
Me: Ahhh I see! Who’s in this league and why do you have to stay late?
Jamie: A couple of the guys at work. We’re doing our draft that night.
Me: (That scene in Knocked Up with Paul Rudd totally flashed in my mind right about then). Um you mean a bunch of grown men are going to sit around and trade NFL players complete with a white board, stat sheets, and dry erase markers? You’re joking—right?
Jamie: Well hell yeah we are.
Me: Alright babe whatever you say.
Jamie: And hey babe—when you go to Wal Mart can you pick me up a Draft Book?
Me: (LMAO for real!) Sure babe.
Alright ladies (and gentlemen I welcome your comments too) what do y’all think about Fantasy Football? I mean come on we (women) do not sit around and have draft parties for the Miss America Pageant. Could you imagine what that would be like? “OMG Becky I am totally NOT picking Miss. California, her ass is like WAY big in that dress!” Seriously how funny would that be?
So I want to hear what y’all have to say about this! Do you think Fantasy Football kicks ass or do you think men who participate really need to have their asses kicked for behaving like children? Let me have it!
Now as a sports fan myself I understand the need that men have to watch football (every.single.Sunday, Monday, and sometimes Thursday nights during football season), and to attend football games, and to paint themselves their team colors and stand half naked in 30 degree weather for two and a half hours (well actually that last one I don’t really understand) BUT there is one aspect of football season that I will never understand—Fantasy Football!
I get the need that men feel to do everything better than other men,but I do not get the stupid ways that men choose to show that superiority. Take for instance Fantasy Football—my husband who under normal circumstances stays as far away from the computer as possible, becomes a maniac when football season comes, and then he is glued to the computer checking stats, making trades, and keeping track of his points like a mad man. And all for the chance to say…”I beat so and so in my league…I kick ass.”
The following is a conversation that took place between my husband Jamie and I yesterday…enjoy!
Me: (answering the phone) Hello?
Jamie: Hey babe..what ya doing?
Me: I’m about to kill a few of our kids—no worries not the ones we like (totally a joke people..calm down). What’s up?
Jamie: You’re funny! Anyway I just wanted to tell you that I’ll be getting home late on the 26th.
Me: (confused) Um…OK? Do you have to work late?
Jamie: No.
Me: Do you have a date with your mistress? Because if you do then I need to call the UPS guy and let him know I’m free that night.
Jamie: Real funny babe. No I have to stay late because I got in a league at work.
Me: When did you take up bowling?
Jamie: (annoyed…and I loved it) No babe a Fantasy Football league.
Me: Ahhh I see! Who’s in this league and why do you have to stay late?
Jamie: A couple of the guys at work. We’re doing our draft that night.
Me: (That scene in Knocked Up with Paul Rudd totally flashed in my mind right about then). Um you mean a bunch of grown men are going to sit around and trade NFL players complete with a white board, stat sheets, and dry erase markers? You’re joking—right?
Jamie: Well hell yeah we are.
Me: Alright babe whatever you say.
Jamie: And hey babe—when you go to Wal Mart can you pick me up a Draft Book?
Me: (LMAO for real!) Sure babe.
Alright ladies (and gentlemen I welcome your comments too) what do y’all think about Fantasy Football? I mean come on we (women) do not sit around and have draft parties for the Miss America Pageant. Could you imagine what that would be like? “OMG Becky I am totally NOT picking Miss. California, her ass is like WAY big in that dress!” Seriously how funny would that be?
So I want to hear what y’all have to say about this! Do you think Fantasy Football kicks ass or do you think men who participate really need to have their asses kicked for behaving like children? Let me have it!
I don't get fantasy football. AT ALL. Luckily my husband is not into it, which actually is kind of odd. I mean, his team is the Buffalo Bills. Hello? When was the last time they did anything notable? You'd think he'd WANT to get involved in fantasy football, just to get a break from the horrendous reality that is the Buffalo Bills.
ReplyDeleteROTHFLMAO!!! Loved your recount of your conversation. Hope he scores really well!
ReplyDeleteI have a love/hate relationship with fantasy football. I did it 2 years ago with DH, and he did it on his own last year. We both won the 1st year, he won the big prize last year, but in all honesty, I'm hoping he sits out this year. It just takes over EVERYTHING for months.
ReplyDelete*sigh* Mike plays in like 4 leagues every year. It drives me crazy. It truly takes priority over EVERYTHING else, and for the entire time every time the phone rings, everytime we see one of 'the guys' - its ALL THEY TALK ABOUT.
ReplyDeleteOH - and because WE have the 52' HDTV - GUESS who gets to host the Draft Pick every year?! *sigh*
oh I feel you - my hubby just told me that he joined a league too! Ugh - all I said was "oh boy - here we go!"
ReplyDeleteHey a guys got to have a hobby and if it's not looking at other women, then I guess it's not all bad.
ReplyDeleteI personally don't get it but the hubby does FF and baseball! lol
ReplyDeleteKas