Lately I’ve been putting a lot of thought into where my life is headed…not that I’m on the wrong path or even that I’m not sure what I want to do. The thing is this…I’ve been in school for too long working on my AA and I’m just burnt out. What started out as taking two years has slowly lead to three and I am just over it. Add to that the fact that I am less than enthused about the degree I am working towards (AA in Office System Technology with a dual degree in Medical Billing and Coding)…I would prefer to do Website Design or Graphic Design but I feel stuck in what I’m doing (and hating) now. I’ve went through a divorce, had two children, moved three times, and had to drop a ridiculous number of classes because of all of the stress I had going on. Now I’m usually the one who handles stress with flying colors, I rarely ask for help from anyone, and I would honestly just prefer to do it by myself, but with yet another semester getting closer I have no clue how or what to do about it.
Last semester my usually almost perfect GPA dropped significantly and I just lost the passion that I used to have for my classes. I know that I have to finish school (dropping out is not even an option) I am just so tired of doing it ALL with little or no support (not to be mistaken with help…as I’ve gotten used to doing it ALL by MYSELF). I wonder all the time how working moms do it. I’ve been a SAHM for almost 10 years and a college student for almost three and it takes all of me to get everything done in a day…how on earth do working moms take care of their kids and go to school? I will be the first to admit that I don’t think I could work, go to school, and be there for my kids like I am now…not that I’m knocking the ones that can…it’s just not for me! And that brings me to another question…will I be ready to head back into the work force? Will I be able to get a job…having absolutely NO work history can’t be a good thing!?! How will I cope with sending my two youngest children to daycare?
There are millions questions swirling around in my head, a million different reasons for and against going back to work, and more doubt than I care to admit…but I guess in time the answers I need will make themselves know…until then I can only continue working and striving towards my future…one step at a time!